Linux destroyed my Marriage with a weed-eater!!!

Honest!

Sounds a bit ambiguous to me. I'm confused.

Were you married to a weed-eater, or did Linux use a weed-eater to destroy your marraige?

Either way, could you please send me the weed-eater in its original packaging? I have some weeds in my garden that need removing, and I don't like to use

ROFLMAO!!!

It's perfectly clear and something similar happened to me. I installed Linux and my entire family disowned me. My computer then send a massive power surge across the national grid and took out all the electricity of the area. I also tried copying some MP3s but the musicians who recorded them started deveoloping ulcers. The fonts are so bad that I have gone blind in one eye trying to read them and I have been barred from the local artists guild for poor taste. If this wasn't enough, Linus turned up yesterday and shot me dead saying I was too stupid to run a computer because I didn't use the command line.

I'm not making this up and it is all Linux's fault.

Bye,

Joe

Wait....

Linus Torvalds turned up at your house? Why didn't you invite him over? *looks hurt* Am I not good enough now, huh?

Well, Linus /did/ shoot him dead. I think you should cut the guy some slack here.

That actually reminds me of the first time I installed Linux. This was several years ago, so I didn't have electrical power, I didn't actually have a keyboard or a computer either, and I didn't even have the distribution since there just was no way to download it after my neighbour had just torn down the telephone pole outside. Not that I had a modem or even a telephone to begin with, but still.

Anyway, while I was installing it, four guys on rather large horses came around and wrecked my flat, stole all my lunch money, ate all of my left-over pizza and emptied every single bottle of beer there was. When they were all done (and pretty liquered up), they found a bottle of wine I had been saving for a special occasion and asked me for some cheese. When I told them I didn't have any, they just lopped my head off and rode off without another word. With the wine.

Let /that/ be a lesson to you.

<snip>

*snort*

Good thing I had put down the tea mug before reading that one.

Well, I ask, what Linux loving gal wouldn't like Linus Torvalds as a house guest? I'd like to cook him a meal at least to show him my appreciation.

Ouchie. I hope you get better soon.

Well, to be fair, it wasn't real FUD - it was mock-FUD in satire of the Beaver's contributions. It would be akin to me posting a photograph of me with a stuffed cuddly Tux in my arms and saying:

<Jerry Springer style Interlude> Linux Impregnated Me!

Little did I know that all that grepping and running fsck would lead to this! And what's worse, I haven't got a *single* cheque from Tux for child maintainance!

Damn that Linux! </Jerry Springer style interlude>

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